Minimal Bible

Thanks to John Hassay:

1. If you have some money to spend, feel free to bring lots of cocaine and
ketamine. Don't splurge it all on the actual party , as the after party is
where you drugs count - expect to be feeding your favourite minimal DJ's
with tons of nose candy until late the next day. Be sure you can hang. 2. If
you have a nice big flat and don't mind it being temporarily used as a crack
house, be sure to offer it to your favourite minimal DJ before he or she
leaves their respected party - be aware that you will most likely have no
say on who actually attends the after party, but rest assure you are on your
way to becoming a minimal hypster. 3. The haircut is very important,
although it is very important - you must not let this be the DEFINING
aspect. For tips on hypster haircuts, check on the internet for the latest
pictures of Magda - be sure the photo is hot and up to date, as this
commandment rotates about every 2 weeks - by that time there is thousands
with the same haircut. 4. Underrated but very serious in your quest to
minimal hyperstardom is the minimal scarf. Normally used by French artists
say to the world "hey I am an artist, shuchameblah" this is now a sure-fire
way to let everyone else know - hey I am down with the minimal sound.
Current minimal hypsters who sport the minimal scarf include Luciano,
Ricardo, Richie, Magda, Troy and Marc Houle. 5. If you ever have the chance
to meet Rich Hawtin, when talking with him - make sure you agree with
everything he says and most importantly REPEAT. If you do not have the
pleasure of meeting him personally, but have a friend who has - just repeat
to everyone what your friend has told you he said. If they are a true
minimal hypster they will surely repeat their whole conversation anyway.
With people such as Troy Pierce, Magda, Ricardo Villalobos, Luciano, this
same rule applies to a lesser degree, but still enough to get you on your
way. 6. This one is very important, forget about your health and live for
the moment. You must be willing to take as many drugs as your favourite
minimal superstar DJ. As long as your are willing to party until the last
moment on a broad combination of drugs all at the same time, such as
Ketamine, Mdma, lots and lots of cocaine, speed, LSD and the occasional
mushrooms you will surely be accepted and furthermore run the possibility of
being admired. You can never imagine the power of totally ruining your body
and mind in the conquest to being a minimal hype star. 7. This one is
simple! Keep it superficial. Under no circumstances should you have a
conversation with some depth or meaning. Recommended topics of discussion
are haircuts, the newest minus record, how cool magda is, how much drugs
Ricardo took the night before, how cool the current party is, and how
amazing of a musician Luciano is. Just tell yourself over and over, this is
not actually being superficial - it's just being minimal. 8. Sex, Sex, Sex -
in the minimal hypster world you should never expect to get laid before 48
hours of straight partying. Even if you have a special liking for that
certain someone, keep in mind that if they too are an aspiring minimal
hypster like yourself they will most definitely be at that after-hours, and
where better place to get down to sexual business. (This is the time when
taste, memory and morals are all flushed down the toilet) if you are a
female, this is the time where you chances are highest of scoring with your
favourite minimal superstar DJ, therefore immediately catapulting yourself
into minimal stardom.(most of the time you will just settle for someone who
knows Rich Hawtin). 9. Be sure to constantly read the writing of PHILIP
SHERBURNE - he is the man who will always keep you informed on the newest
and best hype on the internet. DO NOT EVER QUESTION HIS INTENTIONS OR
MENTION THE FACT THAT ALL HE WRITES ABOUT IS HOW COOL RICARDO, RICH HAWTIN,
MAGDA, LUCIANO, ROBAG WRUHME AND MUTEK CREW IS. He is literally the man to
go to if you want to be fed with the minimal hype. Although it seems as if
he is desperately trying to fit in and be accepted, everyone should realize
HE HAS ALREADY BEEN ACCPETED. He just loves his role as minimal hypster so
much that he wants to spread the love. As with Rich Hawtin the same rule
applies to Mr. Sherburne, everything he writes or says AKNOWLEDGE, AGREE AND
REPEAT. 10. THE MINIMAL CAPITAL OF THE WORLD BERLIN! If you wish to be a
minimal hypestar, one of the easiest ways is to come to Berlin with no plan
and frequent places such as the famous drug spots like bar25, club de
visionarie and panoramabar. It is these locations in which your minimal
fantasies become realities - expect to see people like Rich Hawtin, Matt
John, Konrad Black, Troy Pierce and Magda totally out of their minds and
much more easy to approach. It is here that you can forge those life long,
superficial - I mean minimal relationships. These rules are meant in no
specific order - ONE MORE GOLDEN RULE! Don't forget minus is the best label
to surface in the last decade with its revolutionary stance on music. Almost
as if they coined the term minimal

Nightclubs Are Hell

Something that made me laugh while I was holiday last week was this Charlie Brooker article on nightclubs. Despite loving the music, I agree with everything he says about the majority of institutions that play it. Let's be honest; most nightclubs take the piss. Anyway, read it here.

No Show

Back from me hols, but no show this Saturday. It's the FM launch on October 1st and everybody is receiving training over the next week or so on "the new desk."

I am playing the Box Tree this Saturday though. It's a "Horseplay vs The Priory Boatparty Afterparty." Expect to hear some good grooves.

Lazy first post after the holiday. Limbering up for a chart over the weekend. Keep it locked.

Machines Playlist: 11/8/07

I'm off to Provence tomorrow (see tiny map above). Here's last nights playlist and a new mix to download.

Der Mussolini - DAF (Virgin)
Electro Musik - Aux 88 (Creme Org)
Last man Up - Kerri Chandler (Deeply Rooted House)
Manyflexy (Delon & Dalcan remix) - Maxime Dangles (Scandium)
Love Love Love Yeah (Chloe remix) - Rework (Playhouse)
Next To Monchhichi (Adam Beyer remix) - Skoozbot (Plus 8)
Tuesday Paranoia - Jennifer Cardini & Shonky (Crosstown Rebels)
Can I Say - The Rice Twins (Kompakt)
Alabama Blues (Todd Edwards dub) - St Germain (F Com)



Demob Happy Mix: Download here

Transformers Theme
Missionary On Mars (Raiders Of The Lost Arp remix) - Bangkok Impact (Clone)
Fango - Pikaya (Cadenza)
Lime In Da Coconut - Cobblestone Jazz (Wagon Repair)
It's Between Women - Synchrojack (Ferox)
Somelightuntothenight - Cassy (Beatstreet)
Eyespeak - Ed Davenport (Liebe Detail)
Il Fantasmadi Hobanubi (Mark Henning remix) - Matteo Speclicati (Gumption)
In My Soul - Onionz & Tony (Siesta)
Dust - Tensnake Vs Suite 9 (Player's Paradise)
Union (Stacey Pullen remix) - Ultraviolet (Music Man)
Do It Again (Audion's House Arrest remix) - The Chemical Brothers (Virgin)
Cabana Fever - Sven Weisemann (Mojuba)
Viktor Casanova - The Italoboyz (Mothership)

Reel 'Em In

Two more beauties from my vinyl lagoon.

"Bottom Heavy" is by far the best track Tenaglia ever turned his hand to and is due a revival. This is "Danny's Bottom Heavy Remix" and is, imo, the pick of the double pack.

Bottom Heavy (Danny's Bottom Heavy Remix) - Danny Tenaglia (Tribal)

"Oh Baby" by Rasoul came out of nowhere to become a Jockey Slut single of the month and thus gain notoriety. A great piece of rolling, stripped-down vocal tech-house from California.

Oh Baby - DJ Rasoul (Soulfood)

A Very Moving Tribute . . .

. . .all the more so in view of what had happened at Heysel four years earlier. This European Cup semi-final between AC Milan and Real Madrid was played a few days after the Hillsborough disaster in April 1989. I was there, safely sitting down in a stand near the Nottingham Forest end. I saw everything happen though, in technicolor. The year before I'd been with a friend in the Leppings Lane End at the same stage in the competition against the same team, and spent the whole game standing on a partition, the crush being that bad.

Anyway, I digress. The Liverpool/Forest semi was stopped after six minutes as events gradually began to unfold. In the Milan/Madrid match, the referee stopped play after six minutes for a minutes silence. Amazingly the San Siro was filled with the sound of Italian and Spanish fans singing "You'll Never Walk Alone." A wonderful gesture of solidarity that brings a tear to the eye if you're a sentimental old git like me. Could you imagine anything like that happening now? Doubt it.



And here are the goals from one of the most comprehensive demolishings in European Cup history. The Milan of Rijkaard, Gullit, van Basten, Ancelotti, Baresi, Maldini et al. One of the best teams to ever grace the Earth.

The Damned United

Got turned on to David Peace by Olivier, and thought I'd start with his most recent output, and one that's not part of a series "The Damned United." So far, so excellent. You don't have to have any interest in football to enjoy this book. It could help if you knew a little about Brian Clough and his personality. He hated Leeds United so much he decided to become their manager. For a few opinions, click here.

Balil & Daft Punk/Armand Van Helden

Just to keep my hand in until I can find all the stuff that I really want to put on here, here are two more great tunes from yesteryear. "Parasight" by Balil aka The Black Dog is an acid trance classic that I've got The Secret Life Of Trance Vol. 2 (Rising High). It's got some ethnic Megadog traits, but it's none the worse for them and is still a great piece of music.

Parasight - Balil (Rising High Records)

Armand Van Helden's 1996 remix of Daft Punk's "Da Funk" (Virgin) was a track I heard Luke Solomon play at The Queen in Paris all those years ago and just had to have. It bears little resemblance to the original, instead becoming more French filter disco than Daft Punk were themselves. It's a backhanded Van Helden tribute to the sound he rode during one of house music's most fruitful periods.

Da Funk (Ten Minutes Of Funk Mix) - Daft Punk (Virgin)

Phonique & Matty

Read my RA reviews for Phonique's "Good Idea" here, and Matty Heilbronn's "The Jungle Dub EP" here.

CJ's Baby Mix

I was supposed to go down to London yesterday but instead stayed in sunny Cambridge. Just as well I did as JP Hassay was indisposed and preoccupied. I had a garbled telephone conversation with him in which he explained that his sister, CJ, had given birth to a 9lb baby which was two weeks overdue. If I remember right his name is Stanley. Suitably inspired I got battered and did this mix. I wouldn't play it to the baby though. I've got a white label of "How Much Is That Doggie In The Window" which I'll put up for download later.

It's ok for a spontaneous Saturday night workout. Gallops a little bit between "China Girl" and "Harajuku" and maybe "Confused" could have been a little slower, but I'm nitpicking. I think track selection more than makes up for it, especially "Lonely Winter."

Mixed on two Technics 1210s, two Pioneer CDJ200s and edited (very) slightly (I'm not used to the technology) on Amadeus 1.0.3

CJ's Baby Mix: 4/8/07

Colour Me Green - Tom Gilleron (TEC)
Vantage Isle (Echospace remix) - Deepchord (Echospace)
Hooked - Tiger Stripes (Liebe Detail)
Rainbow Delta (Jerome Sydenham remix) - Len Faki (Ostgut Ton)
China Girl - Adam Beyer (Mad Eye)
Harajuku - Jamie Jones (Cocoon)
Lonely Winter (Dubfire's Luv Dub) - Watergate (Deep Dish Records)
World Of A Woman - Naughty (Moodmusic)
Confused - Simon Baker (Viva)
All For One (Tobi Neumann's Swinging remix) - Johannes Heil (Klang)
System Vision - Little Mike & Ty Tek (Casa Del Soul)
Phunk (Ricardo Villalobos remix) - Innersphere aka Shinedoe (Intacto)
003 - Mountain People (Mountain)
Give Myself To You (Grand Ballroom mix) - The Daou (Tribal)

I've got the Bug . . .

No, not the Steve Bug, the posting bug.

Pick Your Poison - Chris Nazuka (Tweekin')

Another lesson in political spoken-word deep house techiness. This was originally released as part of a double 12" on the San Francisco-based label. Still powerful now. Where is Chris these days? Comments welcome.

Soulsaver - The Deacon aka Gerald Mitchell (S.I.D.)

Released in 1997 on "Interstellar Fugitives" (UR) and then purchased by me on the rare as hen's teeth Sold In Detroit from Atlas Records (RIP) in Soho this is vocodered robo-funk at its best. George Clinton and Zapp's bastard offspring.

Two More Lost Classics

Bon Voyage - Air Frog (Svek)

Possibly Svek's finest moment before it went all deep and noodly. "Bon Voyage"is a rambunctious riot of sound that is in a category all of its own, "sonic carnival music" by any other name, there's a little bit of everything in this.

Moonraker (Main mix) - Foremost Poets (Soundmen On Wax)

I first heard this at 333 when Derrick Carter was playing. He liked it so much he played it about three times scattered throughout his set. Spoken word soundalikes take note. This is how it's done. Upgrade the formula!